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  • 敢於不同 - Dare to Change

Jesus Carbonell

更新日期:2019年1月10日


當我還是個男孩的時候,我被年長的男人性騷擾和虐待了很多年。虐待開始於我6歲,我父親離開我母親和我的時候。然後,我母親來到美國工作,把我留給我的兩個姨婆照顧。這時,我開始感覺到同性的吸引力。當我長大了一些,我和年紀較大的同性戀和雙性戀男子有交往。在16歲的時候,我開始認同自己是一個女性,開始打扮成女性。35歲的時候,我遇到了一個我認為是女人的男人。我們花了很多時間在一起。幾個月後,我一步步成為一名變性女人。像我的朋友一樣,我參加了支持小組,這些小組幫助我做好從男性過渡到女性的心理準備。


時間過去了,我對這樣的改變感到滿意。我的個性也不同了。然而,隨著時間的流逝,我變得沮喪。我從來都不快樂。我的關係是空虛的。覺得這一切都徒然。有一度,我甚至沮喪和孤獨到我想自殺。後來,因為我過的生活方式,我的C肝變成肝硬化,病得很嚴重。醫生告訴我,他們無能為力幫我。在這一點上,我變得苦毒,對上帝非常生氣,因為我求了祂很多次,把我對同性的吸引力除掉,但這從來沒有發生過。


在同性戀和變性生活中,青春是非常重要的。我對個人的外表很痴迷。在種種濫用毒品和性放縱之後,我在醫院裡病得很重,在精神病院待了很長的時間後,我想改變我的生活。


耶穌基督呼召我從這樣的生活出來。我不再吸毒和打扮成女人了。我開始看起來像真正的我。我是一個新造的人。我開始和基督徒認識。他們無條件地愛我。


我知道耶穌不想讓我過那種生活。祂使我在祂的愛中完全。我開始經歷到從未有過的自信。祂在我情感上、心理上、精神上和身體上的醫治就這樣開始。有人邀請我到各各他福音教會,在那裡我受洗歸入了耶穌的名,並得到聖靈充滿!!


現在我幫助 SSA (Same-Sex Attraction受同性吸引) 的人。我致力於通過教育來提高意識,並鼓勵基督的身體通過建立與耶穌基督的個人關係和聖靈的醫治能力,來服事那些在性和關係破碎中掙扎的人。


我已經在一個使徒培訓機構(旨意研究所)完成了我的學業。現在我有了牧師的執照,並且做全職牧會的工作。我也通過我的教會,完成了成為 CIP(基督教介入計畫)講師的培訓。那個計畫是為了幫助有成癮、吸毒和酗酒問題的人。


讚美主所做的奇妙的大事!!!


我一直在支持和幫助來自許多國家的,那些不想要有同性吸引力的個人。我也一直在與不同的團體和組織合作,接觸到那些希望從 SSA (Same-Sex Attraction受同性吸引) 獲得自由的個人。


我祈求我的主把我帶到下一步,好讓祂在我的痊癒過程中不斷工作。我被祂的聖靈改變了。相信我,當上帝在你裡面時,你的人生就永遠不一樣了。耶穌基督是我一生中最有能力的經歷!!!



When I was a boy, I was sexually molested and abused for many years by older men. The abuse started when I was 6 years old the same time my father left my mother and I. Then my mother came to United States to work, leaving me in the care of my two great aunts. At this time I began to feel same sex attractions. When I got older, I became involved with older homosexuals and bisexual men. At the age of sixteen I started to identify as been a female and began dressing as a female. Then at the age of 35, I met a man who I thought was a woman. We spent a great deal of time together. A few months later I was on my way to becoming a transgender woman. Like my friends, I was attending support groups that helped me to become psychologically prepare for the transition from male to female.

Time passed by and I was happy with the changes. My personality was different. However, as the time went by, I became depressed. I was never able to be happy. My relationships were unfulfilling. So it was all in vain. At one point, I was so depressed and lonely that I wanted to kill myself. Later I fell deathly ill of HepC with cirrhosis of the liver because the life-style I have being living. The doctors informed me that there was nothing they can do to help me. At this point I became bitter and very angry with God because I asked him many times to remove the same sex attraction from me and it never happened.

In the homosexual and transgender life, youth is very important. I was obsessed personal appearance. After much suffering from abusing drugs and sex, being very sick in the hospital and spending long days at the Psychiatric Hospital, I wanted to change my life. Jesus Christ called me out. I stopped abusing drugs and dressing as a woman. I began to look like the real me. I was a new creature. I began to meet with people who were Christians. And they loved me unconditionally.

I knew Jesus did not want me to live that life. He had made me whole in His love. I began to experience a confidence that I had never had before. This is where his healing began emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Someone invited me to the Calvary Gospel Church where I was baptized In Jesus Name and filled with the Holy Ghost!!

Now I help people with SSA. I am dedicated to raising awareness through education and encouraging the Body of Christ to minister to those who struggle with sexual and relational brokenness through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the healing power of the Holy Spirit.

I have completed my studies at Purpose Institute, an Apostolic Training Institution. Now l have a ministerial license and work as a full-time minister. I also finished training to become an instructor for the CIP program, (Christian Intervention Program), through my church. This program helps individuals deal with addictions, drugs, and alcohol abuse.

Praise the Lord for the GREAT things He has done!!!

I have been supporting and working with individuals from numerous countries with unwanted same-sex attractions. I have also been collaborating with different groups and organizations that reach out to individuals wanting freedom from SSA.

I pray to my Lord to move me to the next step so that He will continue to work in my healing. I have been changed by His HOLY SPIRIT. Trust me, when GOD is in you, your life will never be the same. JESUS CHRIST is the most powerful experience that ever happened to me!!!

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